.DEADLINES & I'M DEAD.
Monday, December 08, 2008
It has been a very draggy long long long long...SUPER LONG weekends for me...
I did nothing except for assignments, assignments & more assignments....
My DEADlines as follows:
MQ
Assignment 1 - Due Date: 6Dec - DONE
Assignment 2
Part A - Due Date: 20Nov - DONE
Part B - Due Date: 10Jan - 1/2 DONE!
IMEV
Case Analysis - Due Date: 16Nov - DONE
Online Debate
Part A - Due Date: 30Nov - DONE
Part B - Due Date: 3Dec - DONE
Part C - Due Date: 8Dec - NOT YET!!!!!
Essay - Due Date: 24Dec - 5 to be completed !!!!!
Intro to MGT
Essay - Due Date: 9Dec - 3/4 DONE.
See my schedule ?? OMG. wat have I done to my life ? Am I a slave to my boooks or wat ??
I'm veri much putting aside all de unnecessary things for now.
"R u ok ? Dun sound like u ? I just can feel like. Like you r stressed out coz of werk, sch and all de stress bout ijan." To you, thank uu.
I'm nt feeling any better tho. I'm too shagged, tired and extremely exhausted right now.
-LiNNie-
Pinky_Brain_Elymra _ b l o g g e d _ @ 10:05 PM |
A Sober Story from my side - My turn
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
I was reading both of your entries late at night yesterday and yes you girls make me cried till i fall asleep. While reading, all the painful moments in my life all due to broken heart just keep flashing in my head. Man! how i hate it so much to be in that stage! tell me about it. And surprise i still do.
Every night i have to suffer to make my brain stop thinking about him over and over again, cry till my eyes sore and my head hurts till i fall asleep. Once the sun came up, over and over again i need to pick myself up every tiny pieces of me to place a smile and saying to myself infront of the mirror "Today is going to be better day!". And yet as usual at the back of my brain i knew that the pain is still dere, the pain of a broken heart.
So finally a day came whereby the phone rings and it is the ringtone that was personally set for him was ringing.. the heart jumps and the eyes twinkle and yet i pretended to be normal while picking up the call at the same time was asking alot of question and one common question "Why did he call?" Once the voice you have been prolong to hear finally came true.. and yes a little bit of missing him just being cure. And he just want to know how you are doing and all.. generally the answer is i am doing fine and normal. Hell no that i am going to say how sober i am and blah2.. and the phonecall is over, And i ask myself will there be another one?
Ironically yes, and weirdly we met and bam! things just go back like before, holding hands, hugging and kssing and yet both of us knew that the truth is the relationship is over and why in the world we are doing this. But yet no one actually stop. Simply say that we missed each other thats why.
When the day is all done, then comes all the dissapointment come running by as you knew dat life still go on and he will not come back to you. So i make my way home alone crying and felt angry with myself for being stupid and just cant deal with my own emotions.
So dats me.. making mistakes over and over again
keep finding positive thoughts so as to kill this pain that im feeling.
So Fadzlin, if u need a shoulder to cry on.. you know who to find.. we will always be dere for you..
You able to go through this and you will definitly fall in love again. And dat guy will be better then the previous one.
Liana im glad thing works out for you and baiscally im happy for you. Anw dont work to hard alrite..
Tommie u better dont break her heart twice and i will break every inch of your limps!
WE are strong ladies so things will work out fine and the MR RIGHT will come by soon .. explore the world and dont give up.
Love you ladies and see you soon!
Liana your pressie waiting for you. :P
Love
Azaliah
Pinky_Brain_Elymra _ b l o g g e d _ @ 9:54 PM |
.goodbye.
It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
Maybe I'm to blame
Or maybe were the same
But either way I can’t breathe
Either way I can’t breathe
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
I'm alive but I’m losing all my drive
Cause everything were been through
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
And every, everything isn't only
What it seemed so hold these
Words that you never told me
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Goodbye
Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong
___________________________________________________________________
LianaLin,
Thank you. Your post touched me and made me tear. It made me think of what went wrong between me & him.
I wanted to see the world.
I wanted you to see the world.
I wanted to meet new people.
I wanted you to meet new people too.
But...
I wanted you to be with me.
& I noe datz what you wanted too.
At the same time...
I blinded myself to see you being right there in front of me.
Refusing to accept the fact that you were ACTUALLY there.
I know how much pain I have put you through.
I know how much I have made you cried.
With...
All .... I'm just lost of words ....
I failed to make you happy for the 3rd time..
You were just like Liana.
She waited for Zul.
You waited for me.
Zul came back, but not me.
Am I such a failure in this ?
As you slowly walked away that morning, till now, our memories are still in my heart.
All I wanted from you is to keep those memories close to your heart. But you chose to return it all back to me. It is like throwing the shits back at my face.
Liana, you are one strong woman. Proud of you.
*Memories are meant to be kept & not thrown away*
-LiNNie-
Pinky_Brain_Elymra _ b l o g g e d _ @ 10:46 AM |
- i miss u -
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Hello triplicates,
truth be told.. i miss u guys..
i hv so many things to share w both of uu,
bt time were nv on our side..
.. i don't knw why im feeling rather solemn now,
probably aft readin linnie's last post..
i don't know wad ur gg thru,
or wads happening in ur life right now..
but for some reason,
i sorta knw the pain ur feeling..
and the emptiness..
as much as i wish i cud advise to make things better,
but at tt point when i was in a rut,
i nv took a second to consider wad ppl are pointin out to me,
or advising me..
coz noone really knows..
the pain frm the cut in ur heart..
hear the cries u cry every night..
reliving the memories..ur tears wun even dry,
..and thru it all..
noone knws..
a part of u just die...
i got my life back.
coz i was lucky,
the boy i loved.. for so long..
he came back..
and there i was..
alive..
he made me ... me again.
and all i did..
all i did was pray..
a silent prayer every night..
to give me my life back..
and there he was..
and tho he took far too long..
but there he was.
he's the one..
and i knw i was right all along..
god made him the one..
to give me my life..
coz he was my life.
and only zul can be my life.
noone will ever get it.
noone will ever understand why i make my decisions.
but really, honestly..
i nv care wad ppl say, not one bit.
whats more to understand?
why judge me.
why judge him.
coz all im doing is loving.
coz if being w him is wrong..
i really never wanna be right,
ever..
Linnie..
Follow ur heart.
If u have the will to fight..
Fight.. no matter hw many rounds u hv to take..
hu cares if ppl say its not right..
But if deep inside u knw he's gonna kill u eventually..
Run..
Just run away..
Say a lil prayer every night.
As much as i wud for you..
Coz trust me..
Only god knows...
I dun get to see u at all nowadays..
Bt I really hope ur dreams will come true when i see u nxt..
And Fatimahhh..
i miss u dearly..
i miss my triplicates so much..
Let's go bowling some time..
=)
Yours truly,
LianaLin finally deciding to update..
Pinky_Brain_Elymra _ b l o g g e d _ @ 9:20 PM |